of bread and (wo)men
7 April 2006
There are two types of people, as I have discovered recently, with regards to slicing bead.
I was at a friend's place and garlic bread was on the agenda. I was asked to slice the bread when it occured to me that there are definitely two paths you can take.
In the first, you slice the bread vertically as per tradition. The knife goes through, it may be difficult due to the uneven terrain, but it gets there. The slice comes out a little bumpy, a little jagged, a little crumbly. A small mess is left on the counter due to falling crumbs– but its bread, right? Still tastes good. Once you put the butter on, the garlic and sprinkle the parsely, the effort makes the reward all the more tastier. And its just so Right. Plus your get compliments for all that effort. How did you get it so even?
"Its no biggy," you gush, though you're secretely basking in the glory of being elevated in your guests' eyes. It could even be said there is a glow around you…a halo if you like.
The other way and the route I unfortunately took, claiming "I like to make things easy as possible for myself." Firstly, I received an accusing You're Such a Slacker look. I thought I was smart? Obviously not. You need to take societal values into account, girl. Suck it all you can, so the God of Worldly Politics is on your side. This is not just a mere cooking lesson, but an all encompassing philosophy. You better know it. Let this be a lesson to you. Now listen carefully- this is what you don't do.
Look at the breadly terrain. If it's diagonal, cut diagonally. If it's straight, cut straight. If it's horizontal, for the love of God, go horizontal – you can make them smaller by cutting them in half or thirds later.
I cut it diagonally. Big deal, it was easy. It comes out even, with minimal damage, no crumbly avalanches here. Obviously there was no effort required. Put the butter, garlic and parsley in a small bowl and smear it on. When it's done, people eat it. That's all. Not something to talk about. Forget the praise. Its just garlic bread and it was easy.
Now you can make an analogy of something higher or deeper out of this if you like. But I really just wanted to tell you about the garlic bread.
10 April 2006 at 3:31 am
why filed in “tuta sheesha”
Now it could just be me, but I’m not gathering much from this… what was the problem with the garlic bread? And have you heard you can get it premade AND pre cut from Pizza Hut?
10 April 2006 at 4:09 am
well u see…I went to friends house and they wanted fresh gourmet, tastes better. The girl had bought fresh bread for it ..someone asked how should it be cut, I said oh cut it diagonally..because it had diagonal lines through it..but she was like nooo don’t do that!!! *yes with the explanation marks* and was seriously offended when I said it would be easier to cut diagonally. stupid I know to make such a big deal out of it, but its a consistent pattern i’ve seen with some people..they do things because its always been done that way not because it makes any sense or is actually better.
I don’t know why but after that incident I realised that the habit permeates into other aspects of their life, they come out stressed and miserable because they don’t work with whats there, so busy doing whats “right.” But there is a reason for it. They get something out of it. People admire people those who seem like they’ve put more effort or seem like they’ve overcome hardships. It not their fault. Blame the stories of nobility we;ve all grown up with, the values of getting through not matter how painful and damaging it is. Flexibility and awareness have never been supported traditionally in the West at a whole societal level. Of course it has some value. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and there is no choice. But if you aren’t flexible its like of course its going to be painful, of course it will be damaging, of course your whole life is hard.
Call the entry a bit of a (lame) satire!
“tuta sheesha mirrorworked” — broken pieces of glass put back together to make a pattern –or sense.
Oh btw: they were ACTUALLY surpised that the garlic bread came out good and the diagonal cutting made no diff on the straightness of the individual pieces.
10 April 2006 at 5:59 am
see now all that needed to go into your entry!
10 April 2006 at 6:37 am
i was counting on my audience being intellient
19 April 2006 at 6:12 am
In the end, it won’t matter how you slice the bread. It ends up in the stomach. =)
And you’re right. What’s wrong with taking the easy route?